THOUGHTS.....

[Pamela]

THOUGHTS


IT HURTS REMEMBERING~
THE TIMES I THOUGHT I WAS LOVED BY YOU
THE TIMES I THOUGHT THERE WAS RESPECT
THE SACRIFICES I MADE OUT OF LOVE FOR YOU
THE TIMES I THOUGHT THERE WAS HOPE
HOPE FOR A FUTURE
SHARING DREAMS AND OUR LIVES TOGETHER FOREVER
I THOUGHT LOVE WAS TO BE CHERISHED
SOMETHING TO HANDLE WITH CARE
I THOUGHT LOVE SHARED WAS TO BE PROTECTED
A PLACE TO FEEL SAFE
NOT AFRAID AND DESTROYED
I WAS ONLY 18 WHEN WE MARRIED YOU TOOK MY INNOSINCE AWAY
WHAT HAPPENED
YOU CHOOSE ALCOHOL OVER OUR LOVE AND OUR BOYS
I CAN STILL SMELL THAT SMELL
THAT VILE SMELL THAT MADE YOU DO INDESCRIBABLE THINGS TO ME
THE HOSPITAL VISITS
THE BROKEN BONES
THE POLICE CALLS
THE ARRESTS
THE MISTAKES I MADE WHEN I WOULDNT FILE CHARGES
AND THEN THE LIES IT BROUGHT TO MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS AND THE IM SORRY I'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN
I BELIEVED YOU
I TRUSTED YOU
AND REMEMBERING HURTS SO MUCH
THAT I HAVE PUSHED IT SO FAR BACK INSIDE
INSIDE TO A PLACE SO DEEP
THAT I CANT LET ANYONE IN NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY
NOW LOOKING INTO OUR CHILDRENS EYES, YOUNG MEN NOW WITH LIFES OF THIER OWN
HOPING THEY WILL FORGIVE ME SOMEDAY FOR ALL THE PAIN I PUT THEM THROUGH BY STAYING
HOPING THAT A PATTERN NEVER BEGINS AGAIN
I WONDER IF YOU EVER QUESTION WHY THEY HATE YOU SO
IT STILL HURTS TODAY
REMEMBERING WHAT COULD HAVE BEEN...
Pamela 08

[Miss Nissi]

I sit here, in awe of the courage in this write. Be Blessed.
~Nissi