The forgiveness of Epiphany

[Epiphany's House]

The forgiveness of epiphany…


Watering my garden for 2 days and 3 nights
I started to ponder why the salt poured from my insides
What was this all for?
, what was the purpose of my suffering?
Where was the gift in all of this?
For I had been told to search not just within me but to gaze upon my life with a different set of eyes...
Yet I could not see…or rather I did not want to see
My vision was cloudy and blurred
For Sometimes truth is to painful to recognize in its raw form

I was folding into myself
I was holding onto myself
Yet I was running from myself...
My authentic self-the one that I had fought so desperately to become…
I was now on the run…from me. Epiphany-

Attempting to please no one and everyone all at the same time
Was overwhelming and excruciating
Taxing to say the very least…

A vicious cycle had begun
And I did my best to keep afloat
Treading the emotional waters surrounding me
Drowning me-
For the floodgates had opened
The emotional vampires had descended upon my being
Slicing me open like a cadaver on a slab
And I never saw them coming. I was caught off guard-blindsided
Vultures began pecking at my soul-
Chewing me up and spitting me out
With fiendish delight-
Extracting what they needed and leaving the rest. A mess for me to scrape from the floor
Of malicious intent

Yet I was not content. Not content at all...
I could no longer rely upon that which should have been there in the first place
Common courtesy of spirit and kindness
Apparently wasn’t so common at all

Alas. I could not force others to recognize what they did not wish to see
All I could do in the end of all of this ridiculousness was to do me.
Rising from the burnt embers I began to recognize that that gift I had been searching for had already arrived. Many many many moons ago.
And so….I opened my heart, then I opened my eyes
I opened my clenched fists and received what I had longed for...
Forgiveness of self...
Forgiveness of others
Forgiveness of circumstance.
And now …I can put the past where it so deserves to be…in the past….
And I can be happy.